A viscous, shady rundown of all the ways each sign is fucked up.
No sign is safe.
Aries - Why The Fuck You Mad Now? - Aries is one of those signs that have people in their lives they describe as archenemies. Because they're fucking nuts. They are filled with landmines of rage and it takes nothing but the mention of a feather to trip that wire. WHY ARE Y'ALL SO MAD ALL THE TIME?!?!? I get it - life is irritating, people are annoying, things don't always go your way, etc, etc. But that does not mean you beat a bitch in the parking lot over a parking space. It doesn't mean you develop a ritual of harassing the nigga at the burger king drive thru because he didn't give you enough sauce packets. And it does not mean you can scream at any and everydamnbody you please. Nigga, stop fucking fightin all the damn time, shit! Same with love - ya'll are not sexually aroused unless you're in the midst of a blowout with your partner because angry sex is all the sex you know. Not the only sex you know, but it is you default setting. Most Aries relationships, at least the first 10 years look like peter fighting that fucking rooster for a whole episode of family guy. except that's your real life.